I sit on the patio thinking about the snapshots that have shaped my life. I photographed women for nearly ten years, capturing the beauty they didn’t see in themselves with my camera. It wasn’t about hiding their weight or applying thick makeup to change their features, it was always about helping them to see they own beauty, kind of like I see the beauty of the sun when it peeks over the tops of the trees.
Once I got to a certain age I started thinking of retirement like a sort of combination reward/vacation. Visions of beautiful local destinations – the shores of Lake Michigan or one of the many waterfalls that trail across the UP – dance through my mind and usually my granddaughter figures in somehow. I really want to see the wonder in T-bird’s eyes as see hears the exquisite Tahquamenon Falls roar or hear her gasp as the cold waters of Lake Michigan rush at her as we stand on the beach.
Now here it is nearly fall again and I haven’t done any of it. The time I spend with her every week is amazing, even if we’re only in our yard or one of the city parks but my camera, packed in it’s case, gathers dust on a shelf. I have good intentions and I know I need to document our tie together. The look of concentration on her face as she works out a plan for getting from one side of the monkey bars to the other, or listening to her tell herself a long and complicated story about how folding a towel is done reminds me that time really does wait for no one.
As I listen to T-bird’s laughter, I can’t help but think about the delicate dance between past and future. The regrets that weigh on my heart are like shadows cast by the setting sun: dark, yet painted with the hues of lessons learned. I wish now that I’d had captured more than just physical beauty in my photographs and I realize that regrets are like unopened letters from the past, each containing a sliver of wisdom.
Regrets don’t have to be anchors that hold us in the past. They can be the winds that blow us toward not only what future we may have left, but the future of our loved ones, where we teach them the lessons we’ve learned along the way. I’m starting to think that regrets are like arrows pointing us toward a life lived more intentionally.
If asked I’ll continue to tell the stories of women through my lens, but I’ll do it with renewed purpose. I want these women to look at their portraits and see not just their physical form, but the echoes of their laughter, the whispers of their dreams, and the memories of events in their lives that have shaped them.
Life’s story is woven with threads of regret and triumph, of missed opportunities and cherished memories. My camera and I may have aged, but the stories we have left to tell remain timeless, a reminder that even in the twilight years, we can leave our mark on the world, much like the setting sun paints the sky with vibrant hues before falling behind the treeline.
#LifeInFullBloom #EmbraceTheChange #LivingForMyself #AgelessWonder #NewBeginnings #TimeWaitsForNoOne
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