Stealthy Sips

Mornin’. So, what would happen if all of a sudden coffee was illegal? I mean, it wouldn’t be “all of a sudden,” but just roll with me here. It’s would be crazy, right? Coffee could become contraband? Let’s go on a little adventure and imagine how I’d single-handedly smuggle coffee into the country.

In this future where coffee is banned, mornings just aren’t the same, we all know the worst cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. Imagine no more slurping from that warm cup of comfort while watching the sun rise. Instead, I’d be staring out the window, my nose buried in a coffee scented candle and daydreaming about those long ago cups of tasty morning love. There’s no way I could sit around and accept this coffee-less fate, I have to do SOMETHING. Hey! I realized I don’t have anything else I HAVE to do, so I’ve got more than enough time to come up with a secret plan, I’d take matters into my own hands and become a coffee smuggler.

So I started researching the coffee black market, which definitely is a thing. I reached out to my many social media mutuals and made connections with my fellow coffee lovers. Together, we put together a plan to smuggle those precious coffee beans across the border. It was like something out of a movie – secret meetings, hidden compartments, and all. Being a grey haired grandma has its advantages. No one suspects you when you’re toting a bag full yarn around and shaking your fist at all of those kids. So, I began perfecting my disguise – a crabby old lady with a basket of yarn, and a side of coffee beans hidden at the bottom of the bag. (I’d like Jamie Leigh Curtis to play me in the big screen version of this story.)

Heart pounding, palms sweating – there’s never a dull moment! But future generations of coffee lovers are depending on me and I’m willing to take the risk. Seeing the smiles on people’s faces when they finally get their hands on that forbidden caffeine fix is like being a hero of the coffee underworld. I bringing a bit of joy to those who crave that rich, aromatic goodness. It’s not exacrtly how I expected to spend my retirement, but hey, life is full of surprises.

And that’s the story of how I found myself knee-deep in a world of intrigue and smuggling – all in the name of coffee. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got another hat to crochet… and maybe a few bags of coffee to sneak in too.